My Israeli Angel
by WritingFromTheSoul
Summary: While chasing down a murderer, the unthinkable happens. This is how he copes. Tiva.
1. Fallen Warrior

_Dear Journal;_

_I can't believe I'm doing this. If you asked, say, two weeks ago, if I would be writing in a journal, I would've laughed really hard and asked you if you've been sniffing anything lately. But there's no other way. I'm not gonna drain another bottle, because all that'll get me is a heavy hangover tomorrow._

_It isn't gonna make me forget that she's…._

_No. She can't. She just can't._

_But I saw the bullets leave the gun. I saw them pierce the air, disturbing the air around it._

_And I saw them fly right to her._

_"ZIVA!" I shouted. But it was too late. She turned, and I watched three large red spots blossom on her green long-sleeve tee. She crumpled._

_I turned, and fired six rounds. William Goldberg collapsed, finally paying for the murder he had committed. _

_No, murders._

_I dropped to my knees beside Ziva. I laid her across my lap. She was gasping for air. Gibbs already had pulled out his phone, and had called an ambulance._

_I didn't care that blood was all over my hands and my pants. All I knew was that I held Ziva in my arms._

_And she was dying._

_"Ziva! Ziva!" I cried, grasping her hand, tears streaming down my cheeks._

_"Tony," she gasped, "I'm sorry. But it is my time."_

_"No, Z-Zi! You c-can't leave m-me!" I sobbed, losing it._

_"Shh, my beloved. I'm sorry it must be this way, but you will be fine." She reached up with a trembling hand, and she wiped away a tear. "I love you."_

_"I love you, too, Zi. So much." I whispered to her._

_"Goodbye, Tony." And with that, her chocolate orbs became glassy, staring up, past the stars, past everything in this world._

_Gibbs ran over to me. He put his finger gently against the side of her neck. "She's….."_

_He didn't even have to say it, because I already knew._

_I laid across her chest, and sobbed like a three-year-old, begging reality to tell me this was all a dream, a terrible nightmare._

_But no such comfort came._

_The loud sirens told me that the ambulance had arrived, but they were too late. Far too late._

_She was gone, and nothing, no one could bring her back. Ever._

_I couldn't lose her. It was like I said back in that Somalian prison camp. "Guess I couldn't live without you."_

_Because I couldn't._

_I guess it's goodbye for now, but I just might write later. It makes me feel a bit better about it._

_I love you, Ziva. And, if in any way, shape, or form, you can hear me, just know I always will._

_-Tony D._


	2. Dreamscapes

I groggily blinked my eyes. It was extremely quiet.

I sat up abruptly. _Silence usually doesn't mean safe._

_Where the HELL am I? _I wondered. I looked around. Everything was white. There was a slight mist, but it wasn't water, or anything I recognized. It was more like an extremely thin white veil, so thin that you could pass your hand right through it, but you could still see it. I stood up, and looked down at my self. I wore a soft, white t-shirt, and blue skinny jeans. I began to walk, and then stopped, remembering what had happened. I remember the pain, and I shuddered.

What I needed right now were some answers.

"Hello?" I called through the veil-like mist. I strode forward. "Is anyone here?" I called.

Suddenly, four figures appeared in the mist. I walked towards it, and it got larger and larger.

It was no mirage.

I finally made it to the figures.

There were two women and a girl, all sitting at a table. I recognized the girl.

"Tali!" I cried, running to her.

"Ziva!" She cried back. She hugged me tightly. "Zivaleh, I've missed you so much!" She said, tears streaming down her face.

I paused. "Wait. I thought you were- in the bombing-"

"Yes, Ziva. That happened."

"Then aren't you," I hesitated before saying "dead?"

"Not dead, Ziva. Just here." One of the women responded. I turned, and I recognized that flaming bright red hair and unmistakable commanding voice.

"Director Shepard!" I cried. She turned and smiled. I embraced her tightly. "We've missed you so much. Gibbs, especially."

"That old fox. I miss him just as much." She grinned. "And, please, call me Jenny."

I giggled. "Okay, Jenny."

"Since we're making introductions," the last woman sighed, standing up and striding over to me, "hi, there." She had intense, greenish-brown eyes, and short cut, glossy brown hair. She stuck out her hand.

"I'm Kate. We haven't met, but I know you."

"Hi. I'm sorry about Ari-" I began, a hint of shame in my voice.

"Don't be." She said, waving her hand. "I'm sorry that you had to do that. I could never shoot my brother."

Tali put her arms around my shoulders. "I missed you so much, Ziva. I really did."

I turned, and brushed the hair out of her eyes. She had long brown hair, like me, and the same stature, small but strong. But she took after my father more than me, in her eyes and her nose.

"As I, tateleh." I said, smiling, a tear running down my cheek.

"Sit down, Ziva." Jenny said, gesturing to an empty seat. I sat down.

"Tony." I said, leaning on my elbow.

"Ah, yes. About that." Jenny gestured to the veil-like mist. Suddenly, an image faded into view, like a picture developing after being taken. I recognized Tony, sitting up in his bed. Tears streamed down his face.

"Aww, Tony." Kate sighed. "He was such a dork. But-" she sighed "he was really sweet. He cared deeply for his team." She looked at him, and a small smile formed on her lips.

Tony reached over to the lamp beside his bed, and clicked it off.

"Go." Tali said.

"Go _where?" _I asked, confused.

"His dreams. You may talk to him in his dreams." She sighed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"How am I supposed to go into his dream?" I asked, amazed and sort of freaked out.

"Just go in." Jenny said, gesturing to the dark picture of Tony sleeping.

I took a deep breath, and stepped into Tony's dream.

Immediately, I recognized the bullpen. However, every cubicle was empty, except for one. Tony sat at his desk, looking at a picture of…me. It was the bikini photo. I laughed softly.

He sat up, and stared at me. "Ziva?"

"Hey, there, Tony." I said, waving.

He jumped out of his chair, and slowly walked towards me. He reached out his hand, and he touched my cheek.

"Ziva." He whispered softly.

"I'm right here." I said, wrapping my arms around him. He pulled me into a bear hug, tears streaming down his cheeks. "God, I miss you."

"Well, I'm here now. I always will be." I smiled, sitting on my desk. He took me in his arms, and ran his fingers through my hair. He kissed me lightly on the lips.

I sat there with him, his arms around me, my head on his shoulder. Suddenly, I heard a loud groan.

_You must leave now, _a voice inside my head said. I recognized Jenny's voice.

"Wait, but-" I cried in protest.

Tony straightened abruptly. "What is it, Ziver?" He asked anxiously.

_You may see him later. But, for now, you must go._

I stood up, and walked to the elevator.

"I must leave, Tony."

I pressed the up button.

"Wait, Zi!" he cried. He kissed me fully on the lips. "I love you." He said, tears in his eyes again.

I cupped his cheek in my hand. "I love you, too."

I entered the elevator, and was immediately transported back to the strange place I had woke up in.

"Goodbye, Tony." I said sadly.

**Thanks for the reviews and alerts and favorites!**

**Love you all!**

**-Vi**


	3. Funeral

Still wearing my black clothes, I opened the door to my apartment, tears streaming down my face. I spotted the leather-bound journal on my tabled. I picked it up, along with a pen.

_Dear Journal;_

_Today was Ziva's funeral. You should've seen it. Abby lost it. She was sobbing and screaming when it was broke to her yesterday. She spoke at your funeral._

"_Ziva David, part of my team, my best friend, and my sister. We shared so many laughs and spent so much time together. What I wouldn't I give to bring you back, to have one more day with you? You were the big sister I never had, Ziva, always there to comfort me and protect me. You passed so young- why? You didn't deserve this, Ziva. I still remember you and me giggling in my lab, and I'll hold onto that forever. I swear. When I get up to that big forensics lab in the sky, I know you'll be waiting there with open arms. I love you, Ziva David, and may you rest in peace." She finished, sobbing. McGee lightly took her arm and led her off the stage._

_Abby thought of her as a sister. Wow._

_Next, Ducky came up._

"_Such a beautiful young soul, destroyed by a murderous monster. Ziva, my darling, you were such a bright and lovely young woman. This is a tragedy that our team will hang on to for a long while. You passed far before your time. That wasn't fair, and we'd give everything to bring you back. You will be in our hearts, dearest. May you rest in peace." _

_McGee stepped up to the stand._

"_Ziva. You were like my other sister. You were funny, kind, and loved to help me antagonize Tony." He grinned, and I rolled my eyes. "I can't believe that you've passed away. It wasn't your time, you were far too young. You had so much to live for, so many people who loved you. I miss you Ziva, and I didn't want you to leave this early. I guess it really isn't my choice, but I really didn't. Goodbye, Ziva, and may you rest in peace." McGee said, rubbing his eyes._

_Gibbs. He cried at the funeral. Ziva was his baby. He lost his baby, more violently than he lost Kelly. He even brought her roses. When it was his turn to speak, this is what he said:_

"_Ziva David. Liaison officer to Probie to Full Agent. I was proud to call you part of my team, headslaps and all. I never imagined it like this. I've seen so many great people fall: Kate, Jenny, and, now, you, Ziva. And, like them, you died a hero. I so want to believe that reality is lying to me. If only. I won't even bother trying to find a replacement, because I won't find it. I know I won't. When I lost Kelly, I lost hope. Then, I found my team, and learned to care for them like my own. Including you. What I wouldn't give to tell you that I loved you, as part of my team, as an agent, and as my daughter. Rest in peace, baby girl." He finished, his eyes red with tears. _

_Finally, it was my turn. I stood up with shaking hands, and took my place at the stand._

"_While you were dying, Zi, you held my hand and said three words I've never heard said with so much compassion. You said 'I love you'. When you came along, I had finally found someone who looked past the charm and the looks, down to my core. You saw someone who wanted to be loved for him, not for what he was seen as. So many things I never got to say. I took it for granted, and I sincerely regret that mistake. Holding your hand while you were dying, it changed my life, Ziva. I would give up everything to bring you back, to tell you that I loved you one last time. The world lost a very unique person, and nothing, no one, could EVER replace her." I said into the mike, my voice shaky. _

_Then, they brought out the coffin. It was an open-coffin ceremony._

_I looked down to her still, pale body._

_It was then I lost it._

_I began to sob, losing all control. No. It couldn't be my partner of six years lying in there, stone cold._

_Her eyes were closed._

_It was like she was sleeping._

_Ziva-_

_I miss you so much. That dream…it was like you were there, Zi. I could've swore you were. I may or may not see you tonight._

_I love you, my darling. Rest in peace._

_-Tony D._

I put down my pen, and closed the book.

"Goodbye, Ziva." I whispered.

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**-Vi**


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